John Waters’ Debut Novel is Everything You Would Expect from Our Beloved Pope of Trash

John Waters has made 16 films and written nine books. His art has been showcased in museums and he’s toured the world as a monologuist. But he’s never written a novel—until now.

Liarmouth, dubbed a “feel-bad romance,” is everything you would expect from Baltimore’s beloved Pope of Trash. It’s funny, it’s outrageous, it’s dirty, it’s wise. Waters is actually a great prose stylist—in between the jokes about fetishes and scoundrels and talking gay penises.

The novel focuses on Marsha Sprinkle, a classic Waters heroine you love to hate (and just plain love). She loathes the human condition and sees herself as above it all. Sex? Food? Defecation? Those things are for mere mortals. She subsists on fancy crackers and contempt for her fellow man. The book follows her on the lam after she and her partner-in-crime, Daryl (he of the aforementioned talking penis) are caught stealing luggage at an airport. An extended road trip filled with eccentrics, mayhem, and sexual hijinks ensues.

We chatted with Waters about his profane picaresque.

Was Liarmouth always a novel, or did you ever think of it as a screenplay?
At one point a long time ago, it was going to be a movie, but I never pitched it, I never had a treatment, it never got far enough for it to be real. So I had it, I knew I wanted to do it—it was about somebody who stole suitcases, but that was pretty much it. Some people say I haven’t written fiction. Well, all the movies are fiction. This one is kind of like a road trip, a family saga, only you hear much more of what the characters feel. You go much deeper in their lunacy than you can in a movie, where you just have to show it or say it.

What drew you to the character of Marsha Sprinkle?
I wanted to make a novel about somebody that was pretty despicable. Someone that, in real life, you would probably run from. But I’m always fascinated by people that believe they’re right and are obsessive and crazy and have their own vision. Even though I don’t want to be around those people, I love to read about them. So I wanted to have characters that would draw you in and make you root for people you wouldn’t otherwise root for.

Marsha’s obviously a horrible person—but is at least a part of her your alter ego?
She’s a horrible person! So no, not my alter ego. But I do resent instinct. I hate that I have to take a shit! But you have to do it. I love that she was such a control freak that instinct was offensive to her.

She only ate expensive crackers.
So she could just have these little pellets. That’s a very ’50s thing, by the way. When we went to summer camp, there was a bowel movement chart right in the middle of the camp that everybody had to check off. Talk about ludicrous. Maybe that’s where that came from.

So another protagonist is Daryl, he of the talking gay penis. Who or what inspired that?
I’m sure the talking penis has been in other books. But I don’t think there was one where the penis turns gay and the head of the person is still straight. It’s a battle. That’s not bisexual. That’s a war between top and bottom. The equator is your waist.

I’m always fascinated by people that believe they’re right and are obsessive and crazy and have their own vision. Even though I don’t want to be around those people, I love to read about them.

Marsha’s estranged daughter is the leader of the “Bouncing Community”—which is exactly what it sounds like: people who want to constantly bounce. Those scenes were the ones I thought, John would have a field day filming this.
That would be a special effects budget. To me, that is the same thing as Edie being obsessed by eggs. It’s about a new cult. I wanted to do jokes on political correctness. That they could be such a minority, that they felt there were “bouncists”—people who hated bouncers. That they were radical bouncers. And I just kept developing the idea more and more. And it came from the idea, you know I do know people who are addicted to running or [stationary] bikes. I think it’s a logical thing. It just goes much further.

Plastic surgery for dogs is another concept that could only come from the mind of John Waters.
There is such a thing! That thing about the fake balls that people put on their dogs? Nuticals? After you’ve had your dog neutered.

That is about the insecurity of the male owner of the dog, right?
I guess. Or a woman that doesn’t want to be a castrater. Plastic surgery on dogs. I’m surprised it hasn’t happened yet.

There’s a part in the book where dogs rebels against their owners.
I’m beyond PETA! I think animals that are kept as pets are in prison, sentenced to a lifetime of human caresses. I certainly understand people’s attraction to dogs. But also I think one day there’s going to be a revolt. They want to be running in packs biting you and that’s where I want them to be!

The fact that at 76 you can make a novel that is shocking and scandalous, I assume you take pride in that?
I do. But I’m also trying to make you laugh. And most of the people who read it said they laughed out loud. That’s the ultimate compliment. It’s easy to shock, but it’s a lot harder to surprise you and make you laugh out loud.

Do you envision this book being discussed in book clubs?
So far, we’ve had an amazing reaction to it. Nice reviews. Lots of attention. Who knows? That’s funny to think about. When I turned in the book, I thought the reaction could go either way. Because it’s pretty extreme. Depends on what kind of book club, I guess. Stranger things have happened in my career, I’ll tell ya.

Most of the people who read it said they laughed out loud. That’s the ultimate compliment. It’s easy to shock, but it’s a lot harder to surprise you and make you laugh.

Will there be more novels in the future?
Yeah, definitely. I have an idea for one. But certainly, I’m not starting it right away. I need a little break. I just came back from London. Sold out a show there so they added a second. I’ve been on the road. Ten cities. I am fried.

You seem to have boundless energy.
I must have some energy because no Geritol for me.

And you’re still delightfully profane.
Thank you. I think that keeps you young. Curiosity about human behavior. And thinking of new ways to startle yourself.