Enjoying a Meal or (Actual) Happy Hour Out With Your Baby

I would like to offer the following unsolicited advice to new parents: go out to dinner.

Your tiny baby is about to become a big toddler and your dining options will soon shrink to eating room temperature Annie’s mac and cheese over the sink while your husband hoses your child off in the shower.

While your baby is a tiny and immobile little loaf, the dining world is yours for the taking. We’d pack Lou and his arsenal of infant essentials into his stroller and post up at various neighborhood spots. We’d order wine and congratulate ourselves on being unafraid to venture into the world with our child, delighted in our ability to expose Lou—who was definitely asleep and wouldn’t have cared even if he were awake—to things like French food and the beautiful architecture of the newly opened Elephant. The first year of Lou’s life allowed our social lives to carry on fairly uninterrupted. If he got fussy, we’d walk him around outside or just head home, but overall he was happy to be in the mix.

And then, right after his first birthday, Lou started walking. We cheered him on as he threw his tummy out and stumbled forward, grinning ear to ear. We bought him his first pair of shoes and opened his world from our living room to outside. Freed from the oppressive shackles of his stroller, he was suddenly in charge (to an extent) of where he went and what was worth stopping to investigate: cracks in the sidewalk, dogs, people, excrement of dogs, a leaf, a missing glove. His little urban world was full of curiosities and his mission was to give each one exactly nine seconds of his undivided attention before moving on to the next discovery.

Proud as we were of all of this, his newfound sentience has put a major damper on our previous frivolity. He was happy to play with a book or toy in his high chair before, but now it’s no longer fair to ask that of him. He’s a ball of energy and needs to observe and touch and point to everything he sees, so our evenings are now spent playing with his toys or blowing off steam in the park. We still love him and everything, but oh how I miss meeting my husband and baby for an after-work glass of something.

So, brand new parents, here is an expansion of my advice from someone on the other side.

Go early. Some will argue that babies don’t belong in any restaurant at any time, but I disagree. Taking your baby to meet a friend for happy hour is a lot different than showing up for a late seating at Charleston. Happy hours are bustling and full of post-work energy. It’s the perfect time to fly under the radar with a wee one. We had a pretty good track record at City Café, Paulie Gee’s, and Barcoina.

Weekend lunches are also a fantastic way to get out of the house and eat a meal you didn’t pay an Uber driver to deliver. In our experience, places like Captain Larry’s, Little Havana, and Rocket to Venus were casual enough to make us feel like we weren’t ruining high tea, and offered excellent background noise, which simultaneously soothes infants and softens any cries they might feel like sharing.

Be flexible. Sometimes you’ll get to enjoy an entire meal and make eye contact with your dining partner and have actual conversation about non-baby things. And sometimes you’ll show up, order a glass of wine, and leave cash crumpled on an unopened menu as you head right back out the door to deal with a blowout. If your expectations are fluid (a kinder way of saying “lowered,” no?) it’s a lot easier to roll with the punches.

Be unafraid. I have no empirical data to back this up, but it seemed like the more relaxed we were about taking Lou out of the house, the more successful our outings became. A well-prepped diaper bag and an exit strategy are your two greatest weapons when venturing out into the world with a baby—arm yourself with these tools and let the rest go.

Love live the food hall. Lou has traversed almost every inch of the Mount Vernon Marketplace, and had logged some decent mileage at R. House and Cross Street Market. The setting in a market is casual, busy, and loud- an environment your toddler can work with. Be mindful, of course, of other diners, but these wide open, confined spaces are perfect for taking turns running laps while your partner enjoys a second of peace and perhaps a beer.

Be kind to yourself. Even if you have a relatively easy baby, your life is totally turned upside-down right now. It’s okay to want to reclaim something from your pre-baby days, and swinging by your favorite restaurant for a bit is a pretty reasonable way to feel like a grownup again. Make plans, show up, and if it’s not in the cards that night, try again another time.

Read the room. You don’t need to make any enemies. Think back to your pre-baby life and determine if your baby’s behavior would have annoyed you then. If so, it’s probably time to pack up and ship out. We’ve found that most people are cool with a momentary cry or excited shriek, but we don’t push it beyond that.