Special Section
New Kid on the Block
Finding support for a growing family in Baltimore.
By Rebecca Kirkman — July 2024
Like many pregnant people, Alli Cavasino spent dozens of hours researching and building her baby registry. In fact, couples spend an average of 40 hours building their registry.
“Each purchase decision feels so intense and high stakes when trying to get it right. In hindsight, I would have rather been soaking up those sweet pregnancy moments with my husband or focusing on my own health,” says Cavasino.
That’s why she and Natalie Poston founded JoyLet, a baby and kids gear rental membership serving the greater Baltimore and D.C. region that helps families select items, delivers them to their door, and picks them up when no longer needed.
“As moms ourselves, we know the stress of wading through social media posts that relentlessly push this or that ‘must-have’ product, or the overwhelm that hits when friends inundate you with unsolicited advice.”
Because each family and situation is different, gear that was essential for a close friend may not work as well for a new parent’s needs. Cavasino and Poston found many preferences—especially the baby’s—can take some trial and error to fully understand.
“We’ve seen urban parents who get a big, bulky full-sized stroller only to realize it is too heavy to carry up and down the steps of their rowhome,” Cavasino shares. “Many end up with a travel stroller for quick trips and everyday use while the full-size, multi-thousand-dollar stroller gathers dust.”
Talking through their lifestyle and preferences with experts—whether the concierge service provided by JoyLet or the specialists at a local baby boutique—can help guide families to the right choices.
The end of the first trimester or beginning of the second trimester, around weeks 12 to 13 of pregnancy, is a good time to start thinking about essential gear. Couples having a baby shower should aim to have the registry ready by the time invitations are sent out, four to six weeks before the celebration.
When deciding what to rent and what to buy, Cavasino and Poston recommend parents consider the item’s duration of use, price, size, and their (and their baby’s) preferences.
Babies grow so quickly in the first year, they age out of developmental gear and toys as they reach new milestones—about every three months. This creates a need to find new homes for gear, with about a third of baby and kids’ gear currently in U.S. homes never or no longer used. In the past year, half of families sold baby and kids’ gear secondhand, while three-quarters of families threw out or gave away at least one kids’ item.
For that reason, Poston recommends renting products that are used for six months or less (like a bassinet). Anything used more than six months (like a crib, which can be used for multiple years) likely makes more sense to purchase.
They also recommend parents think beyond the standard bottles, diapers, and baby gear when building their registry, and think about their needs during this time when so much energy and focus shifts to the newest family member. “I encourage expecting parents to register for gift cards or packages from service providers like postpartum doulas, meal kit or delivery services, and infant CPR classes,” Cavasino says.
When leading couples through the Holistic Childbirth Essentials course at The Womb Room in Hampden, education director Kristie Graybill often incorporates birthing videos that depict labor and delivery as a calm, positive experience. It’s part of her approach to create new visuals and dispel common misconceptions and fears about labor and delivery ingrained by popular culture—or even by friends and family.
“Most people only know a scary caricature of childbirth that has been depicted on TV and in movies, but the reality is that most births are much slower and calmer than we’ve been led to believe,” explains Graybill, a mother of three who has supported hundreds of expecting couples as they become parents.
Childbirth education is just one of the many services offered by The Womb Room to support parents through pregnancy, delivery, and beyond. Founded in 2015 as a space to provide support for parents and parents-to-be through yoga, the wellness center has grown to include lactation education, doulas, childbirth courses, and support groups.
“Teaching couples evidence-based information about childbirth and their birthing options empowers them to make informed decisions,” says Graybill. “While birth can be unpredictable, knowing basic physiological principles, such as what to expect from the stages of labor, begins to ease the mind around the unknown.”
“New parents are often surprised to find that many things they registered for will not be in use by the time baby is just six months old…”
The most popular class from The Womb Room is Childbirth Essentials, where couples practice comfort tools and laboring positions, learn about the different variations of birth, and complete a birth preferences document—commonly referred to as a “birth plan”—to utilize when communicating with their birth team. “We like to use the term birth preferences over birth plan because of the idea that there is no planning of birth,” Graybill explains. “Instead, we’re coming open-handed with some preferences and then accepting what happens.”
That birth team typically includes a physician or midwife, and can also include a doula, a non-medical professional who supports expecting parents through pregnancy and labor. Graybill recommends families interested in working with a doula start reaching out in the second trimester of pregnancy, as it’s a time when the pregnant partner tends to feel their best. Often, doulas limit the number of families they work with, so reaching out sooner will result in more options.
“Birth doesn’t have to be scary,” Graybill says. “With the right knowledge, support team, and comfort tools, birth can be a truly positive, transformative, and even wonderful experience.”
Preparing for the family’s physical needs dominates much of the pregnancy, but the impending mental and emotional changes shouldn’t be ignored.
As a therapist becoming a parent for the first time, Megan Furman gained a new level of appreciation for the ups and downs inherent in the transition to life with a baby. “Managing stressors, navigating the different parts of my identity, and balancing time and tasks felt like brand new skills to learn,” she recalls. Identifying a need for special support during this time, in 2018 Furman focused her Baltimore County-based therapy practice, Flourishing Fern Counseling, on perinatal (pre-and post-birth) mental health.
“Many people assume this need only applies to pregnant or newly postpartum moms or birthing parents, but perinatal mental health impacts non-birthing parents and dads as well,” she says. In fact, around one in five moms or birthing parents and one in 10 dads or nonbirthing parents experience perinatal mood and anxiety disorders, or PMADs.
Furman also works with couples and individuals experiencing infertility, pregnancy loss, and needs around parenthood beyond the typical one-year postpartum timeframe.
Beyond postpartum depression and anxiety, couples going through pregnancy and early parenthood are experiencing massive changes in their relationship.
“There are a number of stressors that can impact a relationship entering parenthood,” Furman explains. “These stressors can lead to relationship dissatisfaction, increased conflict, role imbalance, frustration, or resentment.”
To prepare for this transition, Furman suggests couples place an extra focus on communication and flexibility. Planning opportunities to prepare together through activities like a childbirth class or research gives couples the opportunity to practice working as a team.
“Build each other up when needed and give grace when one person isn’t showing up as their best self,” Furman advises. “Share the burdens—and the excitement—as much as possible.”